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Avoiding OOC Drama, or: The Tao of Mike
http://unmodchat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=132		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Mike [ Mon May 04, 2009 5:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Avoiding OOC Drama, or: The Tao of Mike
Any venue where different people come together in sufficient numbers for sufficient periods of time, conflict will eventually arise. It's only natural; it is, in fact, unavoidable. But it is up to you how you handle that conflict when it happens to you. You cannot change how someone else acts; you can only change your responses to their actions. You can let other people's immaturity drag you down to their level, or you can choose to rise above it.

I have a few personal rules that I like to live by, to avoid drama in my own life.

  1. Don't say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face. In fact, try to imagine that they are reading what you're typing. Because you know what? They might be. Even if not at that instant, it's easy for someone else to copy and paste a conversation.
  2. When someone says something hurtful to you or about you, ignore them. Don't fire back. If you do, you're giving them exactly what they want, and it will fuel their fire. Do you really want to be that easily manipulated? If you want to really get under their skin, ignore them completely. Don't talk bad about them to other people. Ignore the bait when they insult you and try to lure you into an argument in public rooms. If they're smearing your name to anyone who will listen, ask yourself this: would you want to associate people who would just take what they hear for granted without talking to you about it first? Which leads me to...
  3. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't listen to secondhand talk. The "he said, she said" game causes more drama than anything else. John says something about Jane, Bob misinterprets it and tells Jane, "Hey, Johns said this about you!" John never said that, but now, the spark of drama has been ignited. Jane can either talk to John about it... or she can go the route of drama and blindly trust Bob (who is her best friend after all and could never be wrong about something like that!).

Someone says something that upsets someone else. Adrenaline starts pumping. Tempers flare. Molehills become mountains, and friendships get ruined over it. Some people are addicted to that adrenaline rush of drama, though. On a logical level, they dislike it, and will say they hate drama if you ask them. But subconsciously they feed on it -- it's exciting! I don't care what chemical imbalance some psychiatrist or doctor tells anyone; everyone is capable of controlling their emotions. Some people just don't choose to.

What it comes down to is that drama is a choice. You choose to either let your emotions control you, or you control them. Make the right choice. Be an adult, even if it grates on your nerves and every fiber of your being tells you to unleash hellfire on the person who is being childish. People only bring others down to make themselves feel higher; don't get angry with them, but instead pity them.

As the saying goes, never argue with an idiot. They will only drag you down to their level, and then they'll beat you with experience.
Author:  Demerzel [ Wed May 06, 2009 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Avoiding OOC Drama, or: The Tao of Mike
Great post, great advices.

~Jon
Author:  Rhiannon_E [ Tue May 12, 2009 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Avoiding OOC Drama, or: The Tao of Mike
It's sad we need reminding but yay for doing it. :)
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