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Monday, 21-March-2016
The Necropolis Gazette
Terrorists Recruit Outside of the Box
Officials in the State Department and the Department of Homeland Security have been notified in regards to another arm of the Jihadist organisation, the Islamic State. According to Pentagon officials, this so-called "Cult of Isis" is, in fact, a new arm of the terrorist group, ISIS. "Although their recruitment techniques focus on more pagan elements of society, previously believed to be of no interest to ISIS and similar groups," said one Pentagon official, "the technique is a sound one. Indoctrinate non-muslims to commit acts of terror, and their death or detainment is no loss in the eyes of those in charge of their 'struggle'."
Overseas travel is now being carefully stcrutinised, in order to identify travellers who frequent Egypt and the Middle-East, even more than in previous years. People so identified will be subjected to mandatory questioning. The public are asked for their cooperation and are reminded that if they have nothing to hide, they have nothing to fear.
--by Dana Watson
Gothic Rock Bad for Necropolis
Sadly, many Necropolites prove that if anything is dead in Necropolis, it's taste. The UK-based Gothic Rock band, Infinitum, have brought their drull, soulless ear torture to Necropolis, as a part of a US tour. Having hit several nightclubs in California, as well as several states in the South and the Midwest, this miserable collection of spooky vampire-wannabes are now darkening the streets of Necropolis, lowering the bar of clubs, one venue at a time.
Gothic Rock enthusiasts (yes, they sadly still exist) are certainly glad to know that this band, apparently beloved (how can miserable wrist-slashers love anything?) in their circles, have a few more gigs. In the name of good taste, this reporter will not name the crass establishments that have deigned to let these ghosts of taste that never was haunt their stages. Sufficed to say, if you're out at night over the next few weekends, if you see large gatherings that look like mimes going to funeral, if your ears start to bleed, turn back the way that you came. Your sanity will thank me. We can only hope that this year's Convergence, an annual Gothic Rock festival, will not be held in Necropolis, as rumour holds that Infinitum will be performing... again. Their front man, vocalist, Peter Turncliffe, proclaims that Infinitum loves Necropolis. if so, Mr. Turncliffe, then for the love of God, please prove your sincerity. Cancel your tasteless shows, go back to England, and stay put.
--by Brendan Malone
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